Sunday, 18 February 2018

When my feathers are cut

Woman's day is again round the corner. Celebration of women with so much of glory and pride. But is the celebration done with an open heart?

Woman, beautiful creation of God who got the ability to carry human in her womb for 9 months and in her heart for life long. Motherhood is the priceless and divine gift I got. But the sad truth I realized behind this divinity is that, your feathers will be cut and you will lose your ability to fly.

After that, when you wants to fly again towards your career, you will be judged. You will be seen as outdated to current technologies. Your sincerity and hard work will be unnoticed. Only thing the people can see in you, is obstacles of your path. Your lovely children will be portrayed as obstacles.

But is that truth? No. The truth is mindset of people. Whenever I get an interview call the most common question is this. Who will take care of your children when you come to work? But I wonder, why they don't ask a father the same question. The bringing up of children is the responsibility of both dad and mom. But why only women are cornered.

My children is my responsibility. And if I have decided to come back to work I definitely should have made some plans for them. No one in whole world is gonna love the children the way,  a mother do. So an interviewer should concentrate on the skills of the candidate rather than the children.

I am a proud daughter of a working mother. And I know there is no flaws in my moms parenting. I also want to prove like her. I want to go further beyond. I want to reach a position in my career, from where I could help other woman also come out of these struggles.

This woman's day we don't require any gift or respect. We want to change the mindset of people. If a mother can carry a baby in her womb and mold him into a great human being, then she is possible to do anything.

And this is a promise I make to myself, I will climb all the obstacles come in my way, reach the opportunities and fly towards my dreams. My feathers are not burdened or cut due to motherhood. My children are not my weakness. They are my strength and pride. I will flew to all possible heights with them.

Even a single person who reads this, feels  inspired, and give a try for their flight I feel my thought is full filled.

This woman's day let's join hands and fly towards our dreams and change the mindset of our society. No one ever dare to think our children are our weakness. Let us prove they are our strength and pride. They are our key to success and happiness

Friday, 27 October 2017

Never give up !!!

Hi all,  this blog is about a thought that is going in my mind for some days??  Who is setting barrier for woman's growth.  Is it people around them or they themselves??

This is story of my friend,  Uma.  A bright student in school and college days, have dreamed about a bright future all the time.  And being a hard worker she was able to get into first step of her career.  She got recruited by a top level MNC. There also she shined with her brilliant performance and and secured best performer awards as well. But here comes the expected twist in her life.  You can guess it,  yup that is marriage.

She got married to a decent guy of her parents choice and their life was going well.  From the next month of marriage our society will be eager to hear good news.  They are not bothered whether the couple are ready for it or not.  Due to some adverse situations and health conditions she lost 2 babies in womb itself. And people tagged herself as a woman who can't bear a child.

It is easy to blame the lady for her lose,  people should understand mental well being is also important for a woman to bear a baby in womb.  It's her inner happiness that make the baby healthy.  Because of this mental torture, she couldn't concentrate on her career as well.  Every time when she looks herself in mirror she could find an emptiness.  She was carving for the motherhood.

God blessed her again, it is the third baby in her womb.  When she came to know about her pregnancy the first thing she decided was to submit her resignation.  This was not because she didn't love the job. This was also not because she didn't want success. It is because she didn't want to take a chance this time.  She did this for the sake of her family. Her desire for being a mother made the decision . 

A little angel was born to her.  But she was born preterm with 1 Kg weigh.  So for one year of her life was real struggle for making the baby healthy.  And she succeeded. All the health issues of the baby started vanishing one by one. And she grew into a beautiful healthy child. 

Now what next? She decided to resume her education. She joined for Post Graduation in engineering. It was tough time for her to manage a baby and concentrate on studies as well. But she was determined to prove a point to her Angel. Being a girl is not a barrier for their dream. Whatever happens chase your dream. One day life will turnover the way you want it. 

She passed her PG with flying colors. She became University Topper. She tried to resume her career. At this point of time, God blessed her with one more baby. Everyone advised her not to go for it. Even the doctors was not hundred percent sure about the health of baby. But she couldn't give up. And after 9 months a healthy prince was born to her. Her family was complete. The whole family was overwhelmed with joy and happiness.

When her son was one year old she decided to resume her career. And started attending interviews. But wherever she went, she could find a setback in the attitude of interviewers. For them she was a woman in career break. and most of them were judgmental. Companies will shortlist her seeing her resume. But after learning she is a woman in career break, no interview letters will be issued for her. After sometime she learned to convince HR and arrange an interview. But while reaching Interview level, her skill is compared with those of people who are working currently. Why they should hire a woman in career break when they are having candidates who are currently working. She has attended almost 12 interviews and no good news till now.

Is it fault of Uma? Or her decision to choose family over career for some time. I believe her decision was right. Whatever people say, end of the day you are a human being and you require a family, children and lots of love. Nowadays Uma is trying to equip herself with new Skills in Industry. And I know she will succeed, Because Uma is none other than me. And I won't stop my hard work. I want to prove my children a point. Whatever happens, work hard for your dream. One day life will turnover the way you want it. 

"And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it"

-Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Thank you dear friends for reading this. If you like this blog please share and comment


Sunday, 14 May 2017

My mom my mentor

This is untold story of determination I have seen in a woman. Her name is Jayanthi.

Jayanthi was hardworking and studious girl from childhood. Very bright. Her ambition was to become a doctor and lead a service oriented life. At her age of 17, she topped the whole school and her teachers were so proud of her.

Her Dad who was serving in police department, got retired. Jayanthi is third one of his four children. Because of shortage of income they was forced to stop her studies. She cried over her fate. But didn't blame her parents, coz she know it was tough decision for them as well.

With the board exam certificate she searched all possible way to get into some job and help her parents. On her free time she did stitching. Years passed by. But luck didn't favour her.

By age 21, her marriage got fixed with son of family friend. Handsome guy with descent job, more than that a person who believes in woman empowerment. Few months after marriage good news came. Yes, Jayanthi is pregnant. On her 3rd month of pregnancy, her husband lost his job. You people can understand how tough their life has became.

Her family supported her during her delivery. On the day of Pongal a Prince is born to her. After few days her husband managed to get into a job of Instructor in ITI. By now Jayanthi, got indulged in household chores. Taking care of her son, doing stitching in free time, earning some money. This routine continued. She had almost lost hope that she will get a job.

When her son was 6 months old, she got the unexpected twist in her life. She got selected for clerical position in BSNL. People gave her lots of advices. How you are going to take care of her son. You can even earn with stitching. But her mom, husband and her siblings stood with her. Her mom assured her she will take care of her son. Her husband advised her to chase her dreams. Finally she decided to join.

She got her first posting in Kollam, Kerala. She stayed in a hostel. Her husband was working in Trivandrum. And her son was in Nagercoil with her mom. This was most toughest part in her life. Not seeing her son for so many days. She and her husband eagerly waits for weekend when they can come down to Nagercoil and see their Prince.

Every Saturday they will come by train to their native. Some days they reach home in night, when train comes late. By that time their Prince would have slept. She will sit beside him without sleeping and will pat him on his head. She will be tired due to whole weeks work. But she is a mother. And only a mother to know how beautiful it is to see her sleeping Angel.

Years passed. She got conceived with her second baby. Her husband took a rented home in Trivandrum. She daily catches a morning train to Kollam. She took her son with her to their new home. Every nite they can spend time with their Prince. Till her 8th month of pregnancy she used to travel in train. Some days she won't even get a seat.

With the help of a relative she got a transfer to Trivandrum. Her Prince started going to school. On fine Sunday, her Princess also arrived into the world. Her family is complete. Loving husband and one son and one daughter. Their life improved day by day. Financially also they became stable. But still Jayanthi was not happy

Reason is her desire for education. With the support of her family she planned to join PG correspondence course in open university. Mcom degree from Madurai University. When she planned this her son was in predegree and her daughter going to her 8th standard. And after 2 years she passed the course with distinction. She teaches us it is never late to start. Never lose hope in life. She raised her children giving them all freedom.

Now, Jayanthi is working as Accounts officer in BSNL. She is my loving mother. I have seen her hard working nature. Her determination. Her time management. Now when my life is considered I am jobless. But I know I will also land into a successful career and grow into a successful woman, whom my children will be proud of. As I am proud of my mom. My dear Amma you are my mentor

Monday, 27 March 2017

My Angel story

From our childhood onwards, we hear about story's about angels... And when we grow up and go through the hard part of our life we will loose our faith in God and those angels...And we conclude that angels doesn't exit at all... They are just stories, dreaming about which we grow up...

          But do you people really think that angels are not there?? God has proved me wrong... Angels are there... I got my angel... my sweet heart... my sree kutty.... As a Cinderella story my life got changed in her presence... All my dreams and aspiration about my life is coming true :):)

          Previous year this time, I had a complication in pregnancy and needed to undergo cesarean on my 6 and half months of my pregnancy... doctors were assuring my parents that nothing will happen ... But in operation theater I overheard conversation between my gynecologist and Anesthetist.. She was telling that my baby is dead in my womb and she wants to save my life... I don't know how i overcome that moment... After that I was not willing for the operation and was crying over my fate... It was my 3rd pregnancy.. I had 2 missed abortions babies earlier.... Doctor assured me that we shouldn't lose hope until the last moment... When i heard the first cry of my baby I understood that she is alive... But for 2 months she was struggling for her life... and it was most difficult and painful moments in my life... Later on she picked up and  Now, she is in safe zone :) :) Of course her weight didn't catch up with normal babies.. But she has started doing all the activities of a normal baby....

          You all are thinking na why I am posting this now... Today she started walking by her own... I am so happy... But when i think back, i feel like she had taken a risk on her life for saving my life... she had gone through all the hardships at her early age for me... she was born on the same day on which we were expecting my second baby... february 13... I believe the same angel has reborn for me because she knew I need an angel in my life... i can't say that I gave birth to her.. She gave birth to me... My little angel is very naughty now :) she doesn't call me amma... she calls me by my name "babi"(short form he he)

        So you people also believe angels are there... They will come to your life at at any point of time or may be, they are with you and you are not recognizing them... They are trying to make your life more happier... more better... They could be your partner, your friends, your parents, your children or anyone.... Only thing is you people have to believe in angels..

A mom from heaven

Mom, this three letter word is something that is cherished by every woman. Nothing in the world can be replaced by the love of mother. People say mother is one who carry the baby in her womb for 9 months and in heart for lifetime.

This is story of my aged friend who always dreamed of becoming a mother. Eagerly waited for her Angel to call her mom.

I was 25 years old when I saw her first time. I got admitted in labor room due to preterm labor contractions. For me this baby was so precious since already I lost two in my womb itself.

First time I didn't even knew I was pregnant. The screw of my company chair deceived me and it broke. I fell down on my back. Started bleeding and got admitted in hospital. There I came to know that I was carrying. My heart sank for a while.  I thought I missed the cycle since I had PCOS.

I don't know how I lost my 2nd baby. Everything was fine for 1st three months. But on my third trimester check up baby's heart beat was stopped and I lost her.

On third pregnancy, everything was fine till 6 months. But my BP shoot up. Also developed fever, and observed preterm contractions. And I got admitted in hospital. Strict bed rest in labor room. My parents were allowed to see me during food time.

When I was in labor room I befriended so many nurses. I seemed to bo confident for them.  In reality I knew that I am nervous, I am afraid. But my soul keeps on telling me. 'Have faith this baby will come for you, it will change your life and fill with happiness'.

Whenever my nurse friends see my scan and foetal heart rate they will give me a pathetic look. I used to look them with confidence and will tell mom, 'May be I will struggle a lot for this baby but I am gonna get this Angel. Nothing in the world can come between me and my Angel.' I kept on repeating this thought all the time. And this thought made me happy.

This friend of mine also had preterm labor issues. For her also 5.5 months were completed. She was also having problematic pregnancy. She also was advised for strict bed rest. We were in neighboring beds. We started talking, sharing experience of each other. She was very nervous. She even cried sometimes. She used to ask me how I am this much strong.

I advised her to have faith in God. He will bless both of us with an Angel. She told, I am having 2 angels in my womb. I was overwhelmed. She was expecting twins. 'See you were gifted with 2 Angels by God, don't get nervous. Have faith'.

After some days I undergone c section and delivered my Angel. She weighed 1kg. And got admitted to neonatal ICU. I started taking care of my struggling Angel.

One day I saw my friend nurse of labor room. I enquired about that lady in labor room. She told me that one baby in her womb is already dead. As a reaction other baby is suffering. The doctor is trying to save the life of other baby. Moreover it was her 7 th pregnancy. She got conceived due to IVF.

I was very much disturbed. I prayed God for the baby and her well-being. After a week I came to knew about she delivered baby and baby got admitted in NICU.

I saw her Angel when I went to see sreekutty. I don't want to explain how the baby looked. It was terrible. Tears brimmed up my eyes. After a few hours the baby lost his life.

That unnamed friend of mine was in ICU at that time. She got discharged. While she was moving out I was looking at her helplessly. I wanted to console her but words were not sufficient. She gave me a glance. May be she tried to smile, but couldn't, tears pouring out of her eyes. She walked away from us.

Whenever people praise me about my strength and hardships I faced for bringing up Sreekutty's health I always remember this lady. I always wished to meet her. But didn't know anything other than her name.

Few months ago I went to hospital for sreekuttys vaccination. There I met my doctor. She informed that my unnamed friend is now mother of 9 children. I was shocked. She clarified, she have started a baby home for orphans. Right now she is having 9 children in her home belonging to different age group. Everyone calls her mom.

For a woman to be a mother, her heart should be filled with love. I salute my friend for her bold decision of enlightening 9 children. She not only became a mother but also saviour of 9 lives.

Saturday, 11 March 2017

Daddy's Little Angel

NS: This story is inspired from my friends life

‘Daddy, where are you?’ Little Payal is searching whole home for her father

'I am here dear’ Madhav replied.

' I am getting bored Daddy, Will you please play with me'

'What you wanna play my dear'

'Chess' the lil one replied

Hearing the name of chess Madhav got anxious
Seeing her husband face Maya started laughing.

'Arey my baby, why are you asking your dad to play chess with you. He don’t know the basics even. Maya giggled

'But daddy told he used to be a chess champion in school. And I should learn it', Payal replied

Maya looked at Madhav questioningly
Madhav replied, ‘I was trying to create interest for chess in her’

'So daddy you lied to me. Mama you always tell na we will get punished if we tell lie. You give a suitable punishment for daddy also.', Payal demanded

'I agree with you dear’ Maya replied. ‘ Let dad cook today’s lunch. And I will teach you how to play chess’

No no no. I won’t agree, Madhav defended

'Ok fine, we will go with majority', Maya told

Both Maya and Payal raised their hands. Seeing both her queen and princess on same side Madhav is left with no other option than cooking.

Seeing Madhav’s pale face Maya offered help. So did Payal. They started preparing. Seeing Payal and Madhav doing cooking a magical feeling stuck Maya. This is my family. My perfect family.

Madhav is a software engineer working with reputed MNC abroad. Maya is a home maker. Lil Payal is studying in 1st standard. 

Their life was going with so much of fun and love until the shadow of a monster fell on them.

One fine day, while Maya was busy with her house hold chores she got a call. It was from her school.

'Madam, Can you please come to school, Payal  was so low when she came to school. After sometime she developed a fever. Now she is crying.' Her class teacher asked

'Okay fine. I am coming Mam. I will be there in 30 minutes'. Maya replied

When she reached school she found Payal clinging to the class teacher who was her favorite. Upon seeing Maya she rushed towards her and hugged her. Maya kissed her angel. Tears have drenched her cheeks. She took her back home. After feeding her, she put her into sleep.

Evening when Madhav arrived, Maya informed the whole incident. He rushed to Payals room to check whether she is fine. Upon seeing her dad Payal started crying. When he went closer she pushed him down and ran toward Maya and hugged her. 

Madhav was perplexed to see Payal’s reaction.’May be her health is not good, thats why she behaved weirdly’ thought Madhav. Maya sensed something is really not right. She could see the fear filled in Payal’s eyes.

After discussing with her best friend Maya decided to consult a child Psychatrist. Payal was so scared to disclose anything with the doctor. 

'Please don't force Payal to speak out. She will definitely tell and we will be knowing the truth soon. But rite now she is afraid of all men. That's why she is getting scared of her dad as well. Ask your husband to avoid closeness to her. I know this will be difficult but you have to convince him' doctor advised 

Maya informed Madhav about the doctor opinion. He put all efforts to hide his tears but in vain. His princess is going through a tough time and what all he could do is watch her silently. He wished to hug his Angel and tell her how much he loved her. 

Maya tried to console Payal and tried to divert her attention from her current thoughts. Upon the second consultation doctor came to knew about the shocking truth. This is a case of child abuse. Thats why Payal getting scared of all men around her. 

Doctor called Maya and Madhav for a discussion and informed what happened with Payal. 'See Madhav, I can understand what is going on you. The daughter for whom you were a best friend is now treating you as a stranger. Payal has lost trust in men.Thats why she is getting afraid of you. My advice is you should prove her not all men are same. You should stand with her for justice. You should file a case against that person. But don’t expect Payal’s behavior towards you will change in a day time. It may get extended. Have faith, Don’t lose hope’

Upon doctor’s advice Maya and Madhav lodged complaint against that person.Police registered case and arrested the person.

Four weeks flew away, still Payal's behavior towards Madhav didn’t change. Fear that is seen in her eyes, tortured the poor father a lot. 

 Upon investigation, police found not only Payal, so many other kids are his victims. Case became more strong. Court ordered that accused should be stoned till death. 

Doctor informed Payal that the person who mistreated her arrested and sentenced to death. And also how Madhav fought for her and how much he loved her. Tears filled her little eyes. She ran towards Madhav, and hugged him tightly. Payal realized that she got the best dad in whole world. Madhav promised himslef that he wont allow anything in the whole world, to hurt her princess.

Seeing Payal and Madhav together, Maya could experience the magic of her family back. The family where her life begins and love never ends.

When my friend told me this story a strange thought came into my mind. Do A father like Madhav deserved this bitter experience. It will be intolerable for any father to see his daughter in such situation. To lose trust of his own daughter. Few are the culprits and due to them, whole men is in accused box.

Monday, 6 March 2017

Being woman is special???

Dedicated to my dear mom :)

I am writing this story as Woman's day is round the corner. Do you guys really feel special to be a woman. Or thinks that womanhood is something that makes you feel proud. I always asked myself this question. Is being woman really special?? I never felt special for being a woman. No,this was my thought in past. This is my story of becoming special proud woman. 

As every girl, I was also taught so many things from childhood. Don’t speak louder, Walk properly, Sit properly, be calm, polite, soft spoken etc etc. Then only you will be labelled as a good girl by the society. Sometimes I used to wonder whether my parents love me or the society. My brother can go anywhere anytime but I am supposed to return home on time. That could be because they wanted me to be safe. Fine, can’t blame them since my security was a matter of concern here. But still I wonder why I am not allowed hold my cousin brothers hand in public or talk and play with them. As a good daughter I never let my parents down and obeyed them all the time. But to be truthful I never felt special due to this barriers. I always admired the freedom boys used to get.

As every girl, I also had to face the biggest challenge in my life. Yes marriage. To get into life style of some other family is the toughest adaption I ever made. People say after marriage you will get the love of both family. But it is partially true. It will make you more confused and miserable, when you face problem in your marriage. You all know ‘Too many cooks spoil the broth’. For even trivial things (may be for me) you will be judged  and advised.How to dress? How to do makeup? how to talk? how to walk? how to smile?. OMG my heart also cried. Marriage is kind of rerooting a tree and planting it in some other location. And everyone expect the tree to give fruits very next day. For the tree to adapt you should water it or give the tree at least some time. 

Reading this some of you may think I am being offensive. Thats not true. The moment I became special for myself is when I felt a heartbeat in my womb. And that feeling was so divine and magical. Don’t have words to express it. I was poured with love and care from my parents, my husband and my in laws. I should put words correctly here. They started showing affection when I was carrying?? No thats not correct. They started expressing love in their heart when I was carrying. I remember my dad tried to cook for me. My mom made all tasty dishes for me. My mother in law used to wake me up every 2 hours to eat special dishes she made for me. 

I was enjoying all these pampering. But i had a tough time ahead. It started with a fever on my 6th month of pregnancy. My BP also increased and was hospitalized. My angel was born three months prior to my expected date. She weighed just 1 kg and was struggling for life. She got admitted in NICU. When I saw her first time she was not even looking like a baby. A small head of lemon size and hands and legs of finger size. My heart sank. My dad n mom was waiting outside NICU as they were not allowed to see baby. They asked me so many questions how she is, is she crying? What doctor said? I was unable to answer them. 

 My hus came by that time. And on seeing him I couldn’t control my emotions. I hugged him and cried like anything. He consoled me and told, “ Don’t worry, you will be able bring her back into life with your care and affection. You will certainly win this tough time. After 1 year she will be playing with us. I will be with you whatever happens”. At that moment I realized one who is holding me is my soulmate. I felt I am special for him

As he said she improved quickly. Despite of their old age my dad and mom stayed with me like a strong wall in that tough time. Their deeds and support proved that whatever happens I will be their special daughter.

Life will not be easy always and we may feel unequal compared to men. But these moments made me realize how special I am in their lives. Now I understood what the word special actually means being a mother of 2 lil angels.

I am not that beautiful now as I used to be in my 20’s. But when my angels hug and kiss me I feel like I am the most beautiful mother ever happened. Those kisses make me feel so special.
I am a fat lady now. But when I dance and play with my kids I feel I am the lightest person on earth :P Those smiles make me feel special.

When I am feeding my angels they will offer me a piece of their food with so much of love and affection in their eyes. Those lovely eyes make me feel special 

When they fell down or get scared, they run towards me and hug me, as if I am a superhero. Those hugs make me feel special

Right now I understand being special means being happy about what you are. Now I don’t want a place equal to men in my life as I discovered being woman is more special than being a man.

Because I am a Mother
Because I am a Wife
Because I am a Daughter

All Because I am a woman.
I am proud of womanhood.